Joanie's take on interesting observations in the city......One would never guess that playing Frogger on a daily basis would become part of everyday life. Yes, you remember that phenomenal old game where the frog tries to cross the stream by jumping on logs and the logs get faster as you go. Well, imagine that feeling every morning, Level one getting on the subway. First, you stand to the side when the subway doors open await the people getting off the subway to exit, your objective is to get on the train before the doors shut on you. If you are successful you get on that subway. If not, the doors can take off a ligament and you miss the train so you wait for another to arrive. Once on a train its time for level two, transferring subways. You exit and dash for the stairs where you are hit by people, bags, and other sundry objects as people are trying to run up the stairs faster than you. Not sure what the exact rush is as there is still a hike to go to the next train and you just rush to wait. You go back to level one to get on the next train then the real fun begins...Penn Station (you skip to level ten). You have to really strategically plan your attack. If you want Starbucks you have to stay to the left then once you have Starbucks in hand you have to plan your attack to cross from the left side of Penn Station to the right. The logs (ok the people) go really fast and you have to weave in and out avoiding falling off the log (or causing a people collision in the corridor). Definitely an adrenaline rush in the morning. And without coffee a challenge on some mornings. If successful you win the level and get another life. Or shall I say get to do it again in the evening on the way home.
Another interesting phenomenon is walking down the street and seeing the biggest kids in baby back packs and strollers. I am not a parent so maybe this is normal but isn't there a weight limit on those type of devices? I have never seen bigger kids in carrying vessels. I know I often exaggerate, but seriously this is a true story. There was this kid in a baby backpack (not sure of the technical name but you know what i am talking about he had to be 7 yrs or older. His feet almost touched the ground he was almost as big as the mom. when i passed them I thought I heard him say "mom if you want to take a break, pick up your feet and I will walk for a bit". OK he didn't say that but he could have. His feet almost touched for goodness sakes. Then you see these other parents carting their big kids in strollers. If kids are old enough to ride a bike or go to the mall with friends aren't they too old for a stroller. They are too big for a stroller. I'm just sayin'.
Yes you read it right Joanie headed to the Jersey Shore this weekend to visit her cousins (Joe, Paige, Mia and Kole). The bus ride was a short hour and a half and if Joanie had any sense of direction she would have been there at 5:30 instead of 6:30pm. When Joe gave directions to grab the bus he never mentioned the Port Authority was an institution. We all know by now, Joanie struggles with directions and that place needs its own map. Anyhow, since there was a wait what better time to get a nice cup of Carvel Ice Cream cake and take in the sights of the bus terminal.
The bus arrived in Tom's River, which is only a few minutes to the house. Joe picked me up from the bus stop and off we went. First, I find out the kids were keg party. No... they were not drinking just swimming. After the party we picked up a friend of Mia's and headed to the boardwalk. The waves were HUGE, the rides were fun and the pizza was Gigantic (and delicious). Kole won a prize which could not have been a better end to the night. Well, that was until the car ride home. Kole is six going on 45 yrs old and apparently is an Italian opera singer. I know I didn't believe it either until he said "Daddy hit it" and Joe put in an Andrea Bocelli CD and the little munchkin started singing the songs... in Italian. Not only was he belting it out but telling me, "I have to wait for the sad parts".
On Sunday, Kole comes into my room (Mia's room that I took over) and says "Marcia do you want to get up or do you need five minutes? If you need five I will wait outside the door". Precious right? After breakfast, Kole, Mia, Joe, Paige and I headed to the beach. The waves were awesome the water was great and yes I got a bit fried.Well sitting there with the tannest family I had to do something. Mia looks like a banana boat kids model with a perfectly bronze sun kissed tan and I was a ghost. I got jealous so had to get as much sun as possible to try to catch up. So I got a bit crispy in the process.
All in all a great weekend with some fantastic kids and some pretty cool parents.
Joanie and Tu had their first and second visitors, Bria and Meghan, who joined them for the weekend. Joanie &Tu took Bia to visited there new apartment complex this weekend. Bria won a Emmy for her acting job as a prospective tenant so we could take another tour of the grounds. They loved Bria so much they actually were trying to convince her to stay in Florida and not move to New York (darn we won't get that referral..lol). While at the complex they stumbled across a surprise...the East River...it's literally in their back yard.
This weekend was a scorcher. Joanie thought she was back in Texas. Being the smart Florida girls that we are we figured a nice leisurely walk along the water would at least give off a cool breeze. We found out that that rule doesn't apply in the Big Apple. Apparently, there is no breeze to be found but the view was smooosh (Kiss sound) benneissimo. with the heat looming we walked and walked from Midtown to lower East Village to East Harlem to West Harlem then down Central Park back to Midtown. Five hours later and many eloquent words from Bria we decided to eat. Bria now gets why we are always eating. The restaurant of choice for the weekend was Cafeteria. When they say restaurant of choice they are referring to the fact they ate there three times. Let's just say a discovery of the Berry Mojito it is a little drink from the angels.
Let's just say Bria is glad she took the advice to bring walking shoes. Joanie and Tu were surprised to see a Bria in a pair of Reebok and not in a fashionable pair of Shape-Ups (not everyone can be as high on the cool scale). To quote Bria on a few occasions "are you guys serious, you said we were just going across the street and that was two hours ago and we are still walking". The poor thing was beat by the time she left Joanie and Tu. Meghan on the other hand arrived on Saturday and had to take the walking adventures in flip flops...oops guess they forgot to tell her they like the heel toe express.
June 27th...Wow! When they say the "New York Minute," they are serious (Not sure who they are, but THEY are on it). Time really races by…. kind of like sprinting down the stairs to catch the subway just to see it speed right past you.
So we left off talking about the crazy people on the streets of New York and that is where we will start. It was a nice summer night perfect to Sketcher it up. As we were walking down the street admiring the sights, we came across what we refer to as our first "Dudette in Pink." Now this was not just a regular drag queen. This was for sure a queen on crack in six inch heals (She skipped her training from "America's Next Top Model" although her 6'4 frame makes her/him a contender). Dudette was so messed up he/she kept falling out of his/her heals. So we did what any respectable tourist/new New Yorkers would do....we take a photo. Joanie whipped out the old blackberry to pretend to take a photo of Tu but really intended to capture the tourist attraction. Well what do ya know, a vain Dudette. She saw that camera and came a clompin' in those high heels. We really could not have staged a better photo.
Crazy sighting number two...we exit our hotel to discover ourselves on the set of "Coming to America part II ". We weren't even in Queens or Africa but you would have never guessed it. Tu decided she was going to be the next African Queen. We immediately started clicking to show off our bilingual skills “click cluck clock”. To our surprise the next morning, we saw Rose petals on the ground for her ceremonial welcoming.
Crazy number three: this one wasn't so obvious. He is our bell man and he loves him some Tu. On our way to meet Anshuman, Ana and Cathy at the Soho Grand Hotel; we requested the assistance of our Bellman for a taxi. Like any normal bellman would do when they call their guests a taxi, he asks, "Where are you two heading tonight?" We replied like any normal person with our destination. Literally about ten minutes after our arrival our bellman must have pulled a Superman wardrobe change and flew there. We know, you're probably asking, did we invite him? Hell No. But Anshuman says if you smile at a New Yorker that means you are interested (tip for the ladies …flash those pearly whites with discretion). The real question is “What bell man follows his guests out on the town?” He walks in and sees us talking to our good friend Anshuman (aka sponsor for our house warming party, hint to start drinking Bull Dog Gin, wink wink), gets scared and takes off in a sprint for the bar, he waits for two hours hoping Tu will rescue him from his loneliness (she doesn't). Finally, he leaves with his tail between his legs. Really? Is she actually going to talk to the bellman? We are looking for our Mr. Right not our Mr. Nope, No Way, Hell No, Totally Wrong.
Crazy number four: This one takes the cake. It’s not one instance but a collage of crazies. Joanie got free tickets from work for the Maxwell concert, opening with Erika Badu. Now Joanie had no clue who the heck either of these two artists were but Tu was elated and a huge fan of Maxwell. Since Joanie had not been to a concert yet at Madison Square Garden she figured what the heck. We were joined by our two new friends Cathy and L’Oreal. Cathy is a corporate attorney who just moved from Cleveland and L’Oreal, well she’s a professional Rapper. Yes you heard it here first we are part of an entourage..."The In Crowd". Set your dvrs for this years VMA's. Talk about a unique entourage. We represent a rainbow. I am not talking about L’Oreal’s hair or grill (her signature pieces). We are a diverse group of chicks from race to careers. We will soon be debuting a clothing and jewelry line, a fragrance and our own Magazine (If Oprah has one…). Joanie always wanted to be famous but without a singing, dancing or acting talent this could be her ticket (although the comedy route still has legs).
Back to the concert...Erika Badu...Crazy and should be known as Erika Baaaboring. She looked like she rolled out of bed, put on a trench coat, an orange Mufassa wig and a Top hat. She was performing at THE GARDEN not a garden...Couldn’t she dress up a bit? Just when we were commenting on her decision to wear a coat in 90 degree weather under hot concert lights, she takes it off only to reveal her draw string yellow PJs. Now, we have only great things to say about Maxwell, except for his weird obsession with "a little friendly choking". His words not ours.
We leave the show and get approached by a female bum. We nicely declined the act of charity for it is expensive here and we must watch our cash flow. Chicas need to eat (more on that in a bit). L’Oreal heard the female bum’s CRAZY boyfriend say, “Forget those B****es" (great hearing because the rest of us missed it). As she was the only one pulling out her money, that comment rubbed her the wrong way...... and it was on.
L’Oreal vs. two bums: L’Oreal asks the man bum, “Did you just say forget them B’s? I'm gonna slap the cigarette out of your mouth." While our mouths hung open the female bum attempts to protect her man and responds, "You’re not gonna do anything ". As they start circling and baiting her with attitudes soaring, L’Oreal politely exits with the last word, "Crack heads get a job & take a shower". She maybe little in stature but she is a feisty Latina and could have taken them. And like true entourage we had her back, Cathy the "corporate" attorney pulls out her note pad while Tu and Joanie have 911 on speed dial.
Enough with the crazies and back to the good stuff... The food.
Seems like every time Jess, our parents or Bria call us we are eating. They think we are oinkers and we think we're simply enjoying the New York Restaurant scene. Some countries are lucky to get a bag of rice dropped on them and we are fortunate to be living in a city where it is literally impossible to run out of places to eat. However, after Jessica expressed her fears of us being the next contestants on the "Biggest Loser," we decided it wouldn't hurt to keep Jenny in the fridge.
June 21st….. Tu got in on Friday literally dropped her bags at the hotel and went on an apartment hunt…..she found us a great place check it out www.stuytown.com. We have a two bedroom and were really lucky as they are sold out. It was a miracle we got one. so literally tu gets off the plane dumps her stuff goes to one apartment and found the one. She calls me I say go for it (sight unseen). We are excited put a deposit down and set a time on sat to sign a lease. We call negative nelly aka susan and she and her mini me aka jess freak out due to the fact that we have not looked anywhere else. So we start worrying. So we go decide to meet another broker on sat. turns out to be the worst time ever. We took our okk my first ride on the subway and made it to the financial district. The lady ida who we thought we were meeting with as she is who we responded to on facebook turned out to be a fraud.
Ida was fictitious. So we are stuck with crazy lisa. We sit in her office for hours while she tells us there is nothing but 750 sq foot apartments (ours is two bedrooms and 1000 sq feet plus five closets). Anyways we go look at place number one. I know I am small but I can not fit in a crib which is all that could fit in bedroom number two. So we go to another place. The people there thought we were not good enough to live in their building and sent us to their “other building” in harlem. i was asked to get in a car and someone offered Tu crack. Needless to say we got in a cab and left and went back to our place and signed a lease.
Proud apartment renters we met up with our old high school friend Anshuman (the one that owns bull dog gin) and he took us to dinner in our new neighborhood. We met his new girlfriend, had some drinks, and reminisced on good times. Had so much. He’s going to introduce us to our new husbands. LOL!
Then we headed out to the meat packing district. I thought I was meat because it was so packed. Went or tried to go to a few places but gave up and decided to eat.
On Sunday we got up for a day of exploring. First stop sketcher shape ups. Yes ladies that’s right make fun of us all you want as we have made fun of other people wearing those ridiculous things but we are going to be walking a lot so we got em and oh boy did we walk. I think I did the suzy g komen three day in one day. We own queens. Ok we don’t own it but we walked the whole town. We found great deals like eybrow threading for six bucks. Tu got eyebrows, mustache, chin and under the lip for $17. we went furniture shopping and went to yet another fabulous restaurant. We had an etire to do list and accomplished all but two tasks. When it was getting late we headed back to manhattan and yes ate again.
Tonight we went on a walk. First thing we heard is this man that said “I hate fuckin Mondays” he said this so loud to himself. I was like tu” I don’t think he likes Mondays” she was like “really what makes you say that”. Ok so then we ate and continued our walk to time square. We were stopped by someone asking about what do you think…our hot sketchers….yep she to is joining the revolution and getting some tomorrow. I would say we have only been here a few days and already setting trends in NY…just sayin. In time square we met a hottie of a police officer (we made out) I asked him where the good pastries are and I hook em….ok the last part is a lie. We made out but I did not ask about the pastries. Only true part is…he was adorable. We ended up at carvel and I ate carvel ice cream cake in times square.Does it get much better?
As for work I hired my first person today. Super excited about it.
June 15th... Ok onto day two….so this AM I get up early and am excited to go to work. I use my new badge to get into the building then up the elevator I go. I swipe into the 15th floor and get upstairs a little before 8 ….the floor that I am on is pretty dark (meaning no one is around office lights are on in cube areas but offices are dark no one is in yet or I should say very few ppl are in). So I walk past the receptionist (she is not in yet) to my office… easy enough right? Well not so right because I lost it. I mean I literally lost where my office was. And I was lost on the 15th floor. I wander the floor looking for what looks like the office I was in last night and can not find it. Do walk by one guy like three times as I am walking in a maze of cubes and offices and do not intro myself because I did not want to say….”hi I’m the new girl, Marcia and I have no flippin clue where the hell my office is. ” Anyway find a break/coffee room so I make my self a cup of coffee and try this adventure again…pass by a new area of the floor and now people are starting to show up so I have to look like I know where I am going . Some how I manage to take the maze back to the receptionist desk (thank goodness she is still not in ), so I try the other direction from the one I initially entered when I first got there. Sure enough my office is steps I mean steps away from the front reception area. So the hardest part about today was over around 8:30am.
After work I changed clothes and decided to see the city. So I walked to chelsea and gramercy Nice areas! While I am walking I am on the phone with Tu ( Tumeka my new roommate, an old friend from middle and high school from NBTA). So this has become a nightly deal I walk she looks on a map and follows me (she is still in Cleveland but is moving this weekend) kinda like where’s waldo …we call it follow marcia. Ok so as I am walking I tell her nice areas, buildings or streets and she googles to see if there are any available 2 bdrms. So we all know I have nice taste rt? Well everyone I called out we could not afford. At one pont she is like “ok solution we are going to have to find rich husbands fast if you want to live there”. I would also call out things like this area is really happy (my code word for gay flags everywhere) or bad places I would say GEETO ( my nice way of saying this is major ghetto). So it was pretty fun.
Ended up having a really shitty dinner but you win some you lose some. So those are the day two highlights/adventures.
