The New York Crazies

June 27th...Wow! When they say the "New York Minute," they are serious (Not sure who they are, but THEY are on it). Time really races by…. kind of like sprinting down the stairs to catch the subway just to see it speed right past you.

So we left off talking about the crazy people on the streets of New York and that is where we will start. It was a nice summer night perfect to Sketcher it up. As we were walking down the street admiring the sights, we came across what we refer to as our first "Dudette in Pink." Now this was not just a regular drag queen. This was for sure a queen on crack in six inch heals (She skipped her training from "America's Next Top Model" although her 6'4 frame makes her/him a contender). Dudette was so messed up he/she kept falling out of his/her heals. So we did what any respectable tourist/new New Yorkers would do....we take a photo. Joanie whipped out the old blackberry to pretend to take a photo of Tu but really intended to capture the tourist attraction. Well what do ya know, a vain Dudette. She saw that camera and came a clompin' in those high heels. We really could not have staged a better photo.

Crazy sighting number two...we exit our hotel to discover ourselves on the set of "Coming to America part II ". We weren't even in Queens or Africa but you would have never guessed it. Tu decided she was going to be the next African Queen. We immediately started clicking to show off our bilingual skills “click cluck clock”. To our surprise the next morning, we saw Rose petals on the ground for her ceremonial welcoming.

Crazy number three: this one wasn't so obvious. He is our bell man and he loves him some Tu. On our way to meet Anshuman, Ana and Cathy at the Soho Grand Hotel; we requested the assistance of our Bellman for a taxi. Like any normal bellman would do when they call their guests a taxi, he asks, "Where are you two heading tonight?" We replied like any normal person with our destination. Literally about ten minutes after our arrival our bellman must have pulled a Superman wardrobe change and flew there. We know, you're probably asking, did we invite him? Hell No. But Anshuman says if you smile at a New Yorker that means you are interested (tip for the ladies …flash those pearly whites with discretion). The real question is “What bell man follows his guests out on the town?” He walks in and sees us talking to our good friend Anshuman (aka sponsor for our house warming party, hint to start drinking Bull Dog Gin, wink wink), gets scared and takes off in a sprint for the bar, he waits for two hours hoping Tu will rescue him from his loneliness (she doesn't). Finally, he leaves with his tail between his legs. Really? Is she actually going to talk to the bellman? We are looking for our Mr. Right not our Mr. Nope, No Way, Hell No, Totally Wrong.

Crazy number four: This one takes the cake. It’s not one instance but a collage of crazies. Joanie got free tickets from work for the Maxwell concert, opening with Erika Badu. Now Joanie had no clue who the heck either of these two artists were but Tu was elated and a huge fan of Maxwell. Since Joanie had not been to a concert yet at Madison Square Garden she figured what the heck. We were joined by our two new friends Cathy and L’Oreal. Cathy is a corporate attorney who just moved from Cleveland and L’Oreal, well she’s a professional Rapper. Yes you heard it here first we are part of an entourage..."The In Crowd". Set your dvrs for this years VMA's. Talk about a unique entourage. We represent a rainbow. I am not talking about L’Oreal’s hair or grill (her signature pieces). We are a diverse group of chicks from race to careers. We will soon be debuting a clothing and jewelry line, a fragrance and our own Magazine (If Oprah has one…). Joanie always wanted to be famous but without a singing, dancing or acting talent this could be her ticket (although the comedy route still has legs).

Back to the concert...Erika Badu...Crazy and should be known as Erika Baaaboring. She looked like she rolled out of bed, put on a trench coat, an orange Mufassa wig and a Top hat. She was performing at THE GARDEN not a garden...Couldn’t she dress up a bit? Just when we were commenting on her decision to wear a coat in 90 degree weather under hot concert lights, she takes it off only to reveal her draw string yellow PJs. Now, we have only great things to say about Maxwell, except for his weird obsession with "a little friendly choking". His words not ours.

We leave the show and get approached by a female bum. We nicely declined the act of charity for it is expensive here and we must watch our cash flow. Chicas need to eat (more on that in a bit). L’Oreal heard the female bum’s CRAZY boyfriend say, “Forget those B****es" (great hearing because the rest of us missed it). As she was the only one pulling out her money, that comment rubbed her the wrong way...... and it was on.

L’Oreal vs. two bums: L’Oreal asks the man bum, “Did you just say forget them B’s? I'm gonna slap the cigarette out of your mouth." While our mouths hung open the female bum attempts to protect her man and responds, "You’re not gonna do anything ". As they start circling and baiting her with attitudes soaring, L’Oreal politely exits with the last word, "Crack heads get a job & take a shower". She maybe little in stature but she is a feisty Latina and could have taken them. And like true entourage we had her back, Cathy the "corporate" attorney pulls out her note pad while Tu and Joanie have 911 on speed dial.

Enough with the crazies and back to the good stuff... The food.
Seems like every time Jess, our parents or Bria call us we are eating. They think we are oinkers and we think we're simply enjoying the New York Restaurant scene. Some countries are lucky to get a bag of rice dropped on them and we are fortunate to be living in a city where it is literally impossible to run out of places to eat. However, after Jessica expressed her fears of us being the next contestants on the "Biggest Loser," we decided it wouldn't hurt to keep Jenny in the fridge.